Most people pursue success in order to obtain some kind of relationship, such as a romantic relationship, the attention and respect of others, etc. These relationships are also built on a certain level of success. Look at the beggars on the street, who would want to establish those relationships with them? Career, achievements, wealth, fame, etc. are like the lights to a gecko for me, and love, friendship, and other relationships are like the insects to a gecko. You see them flying towards you, but they are actually just attracted to the light. And I am like that poor little creature that depends on the light (career) and feeds on the insects (relationships) but has little autonomy. If you want to harvest love, friendship, and other social relationships and maintain them, you need to find the light called career that can bring you these relationships and hold onto it. So why do we need these relationships? I think it may be to escape loneliness. Although relationships are very intangible, without them, one feels uncomfortable all over. This may be the true situation of most people's lives.
I remembered some words from Amas:
Many people have enough money, food, and work, as well as the affirmation and appreciation of others, but 99% of people are still unhappy. Nevertheless, we still believe that we are the 1% of people. If I can get what I want, I will be happy.
In fact, the 1% of people who have found fulfillment don't care much about worldly achievements - that's why they feel fulfilled. Their happiness does not come from wealth, status, or partners.
I'm not saying that achievements, wealth, and status are bad things, I'm saying that they themselves have no realness. In fact, all activities in life - achievements, situations, and relationships - are all hollow. If you don't exist in them, they are all hollow things. This is the basic law of life.
Your career, interests, and relationships are all important, but they only have true importance when they can guide you to a deep understanding of yourself. Otherwise, they are irrelevant.
Happiness ultimately depends on oneself, although career and relationships also have an impact. It is best not to have conflicts among the three, otherwise, happiness is difficult to achieve.
Unlike oneself, career and relationships are external things. They are not a matter of choice, but a matter of priority and position (order).
If you cannot change yourself to fit into your career and relationships, then it is best to let yourself decide on your career and relationships, with oneself at the center and career and relationships on the periphery. This combination is the most comfortable.